Came up swinging

Well I got asked something about 3 weeks ago here and now I get to take a huge step at this point in time and it will be at least worth a good flapping try on my part.  If I do not take the chance at this point I will fail here and my danm father was right that I ain't nothing but a failure and always will be.  I asked for his opinion and got told you do not have a chance at all and don't even bother since it is not worth it at all now at this point.  Alot of it stems from when the boys were born and I was told I was nothing after that part totally and got treated like I was nothing since I was a girl.  All I can say is the words and actions from some have stung for 28 years pluss and may sting forever also.  With that part of things I did try things out and fell flat on my face for part of the time growing up and there are times where I still fall flat and I know that I did try to make it in some things here.  Now I am ready to try something again to see what happends here and if I can make a go of what I have been thinking about in alot of ways.  Ok so I ended up the cheap tight wad out of the bunch and not by my choice at all at this point in my life.  I have done alot of jobs totally here and kept others saine thru a graduation party also here over the years.  That is how long I have done some of the jobs also and never lost it at all.  So in the past week I told some where to go and how to do it all with what is going on in todays world.  I am sorry I would rather eat and hold onto my house at this point in time than pay 4 pluss grand for insurance that I will get cut off from within 6 months at this time and into government houseing while I am at it.  I refuse to pay the rates and not eat and set up out in the street.  I am not the person who can't cut the apron strings like one of my baby brothers also at this time since he can not seem to leave home and he is 28 years of age with a good job on top of it all.  I am mad since some can not cut the strings and let some go here at all and are willing to cut me down after making it for 25 years on my own.  This is why I have not asked for money at all from my father nor that side of the family at all along with having it over my head for years even when I did pay it all back and then some here.  So that is why I sent the card back and did not bother with it hardly here since I was cut down so bad that it did not matter anyway here since I am not a boy at all.  When 2 grown men are telling me hey this is what is needed and what is your thoughts on it.  Now I will get down to the nitty gritty and see what I can do cheap or not.  What do I have to loose here and it is nothing at all except a bruised ego for awhile and that is it.