Thinking again

Well I had a mini walk this morning totally here already.  I did not get anything and that is ok since I got to really think hard for about 40 minutes here for myself.  I know in why I have been trying to keep calm here and why I have failed so far in that part of things totally for the past several months.  Between some not caring at all along with other things that I have been blamed for also it is not a good thing at all.  So now I will get out more and do what I can for the walks along with other things that are going down also here from now on since I can deal with getting blamed for things that I have not even bothered to do as of yet.  When I walk here it seems like I can swallow some things better and keep myself up and going also for the days that some that are not here along with other things.  With that being said here I have took heat for the lap top that I have had for not even 3 years as of yet and others ran it over along with trashing the power supply on me 8 months ago.  When my Husband asked in how old the laptop is yesterday I told him 3 years on Thanksgiving day to be honest I got told not to get nasty with it and I told him that i was not any souch thing and I was still stewing in what his supposed friend had done still at that point along with taking the heat for it all.  I told my Husband since it is still my fault here anyway that I look at it I will save up for another one since I let the person trash it on me along with other things in the house since he does not have nice things because of the 2 younger children in his household.  So now I have came to the point of I just do not care anymore in what I get blamed for as long as I can walk also for myself so I can swallow the bitter powder of getting blamed and accused of things that I had not even bother to do here when I know some have lied their way to the top also.  Friends and sisters come before the wife and I got use to that part period around here over the past 20 plus years.  When I was the one that brought in the steady pay at times and did not have to worry on how much nor little here along with the pay that was bouncing back to the can to beat me home in some of the jobs that were had with my Husband.  So I got really good at streaching out in what was coming in and what was there at the time also over the years.  So I guess that is why I never really left on getting the nickles here and saved them up for things at the store along with many other things that have been going down.