As I sit here

Well as I sit here at this moment in time as early as it all is it makes me wander in what the heck I am doing most days here anyway.  Yesterday was nothing but a huge battle with a 4 year old not wanting to eat and made her anyway.  I was trying to get done with the little things here and failed on that part of it all and gave up totally.  It has came to the point of where I waste more food on an ungreatfull child and I can start feeding my Husband better on the road with all that I have dumped out in the past 2 weeks from the child.  I was so mad yesterday that I did not even think about doing some things at all and maybe it was a good thing totally at the time.  Then to get a call from my Husband saying that I have to go get him also.  By the time I got done here in the place for the day along with knowing that my plood pressure was totally at stroke level yet again it all makes me wander in what the heck is going down.  After sitting in the truck for about 20 minutes yesterday with the doors locked and the radio going I finally calmed down enough to where I felt better after all was said and done.  Also it got me to thinking about the ways that I have tried here also to get the ungreatfull child to eat and knowing the parents they will not make the child eat if she does not want to anyway so that the effort that I make is gone to waste.  Alot of what it is at this point is that the child wants me to hand feed her so she does not have to lift her hand to do so here to eat.  On top of it I had went to the one spare room and the child seen the one bucket with the chips in it.  The child asked if she could have some and I told her no since it was not lunch time yet and she almost went into melt down mode.  So I did not give in on that part of it and will not since she will not eat luch unless forced to totally and it takes a good 2 hours for her to eat.  So I am guessing that the one bucket for the truck has to be moved this weekend here and I can not lift it still.  The next thing also here is that I will get more fruit and veggies into the household and make the child eat them also while I am at it all.  I never fought my Momma on eating period at all.  And I never would have asked with a plate full of food can I only take 3 more bites.  So now to see in what today brings here and go from there since I have places to go to also for the day.