Knowing now

Well I got some hints today here and even my Husband noticed that I am ok at this point in time in what I do for the mornings here in the household.  Ok so I kind of got another push today here from my good friend that it is ok in what I do at this time and I have to work up in what and where I have to be totally now for the walks also now.  I know that I can not top the Sweet Man's totals what so ever but I can try at this point and the guy knows this out of me.  Since I do have hope and the drive to just go out and do for alot of things here for myself and the nickles are a huge help in the weight loss that I am doing now at this time for myself and others.  I will never see 90 pounds again here and do not want to at all.  I will not complain at all about in what is going on since I have always had a big butt and got smacked up by 3 sides of the family here if that makes since.  As I told my one Aunt here do not worry about the butt here since I did learn for you that it will never change period nomatter in what the heck we do it is there.  We had a laugh over that one since we are built from the waist down the same here and I had the extras thrown in on me with 2 other sides of the family weather my Auntie liked it or not here.  Ok so I have learned to live with some things and the models still puke their guts up and not eat on top of it all still to this day for things.  Sorry I will not go that far for things and tough cookies in my eyes since every woman is built totally different still to this day.  Ok yes I do dress up every so often and have went back down to a size 8 after being a size 16 here and Grandma's place is never a good thing here trust me along with neck surgery also on top of it here.  I will admit that I am half Italian here and love the bread and pastas period.  There are other foods that I want and crave also here without a doubt and have to cut down totally still on them along with other things that put weight on me in all honestly at this time.  My sperm downer told me just stop eating and drinking carbs here and you will lose the weight period.  I look at it as what is left to eat in the world since bread and pasta are main things in my place along with rice.  The man has never been broke in his dang life and never will be after some things that I will not bring up and others agreed with me here also in what went on.  When I grew up it was a different time and I would ask and got told tough ya gotta wait kiddo here also on alot of things growing up.  So I would start hoarding money back on the things that I wanted and go from there at the time.  Also my Husband told me today take the walking money and throw it all back here in the bank that I have and I will do more than that on the man here from now on.  There are things that I will not say in what I have been threw here and I will not tell on what all happened neither here at all.  So now that I am waiting on my Husband to come back and ask for the card and me to go with him and Fred here it is all good in my eyes at this time since Fred already knows in how I am at this time.  SO I just hope that some talk some since into my Husband now after what all went on here and why I have been having a hard time in alot of things that have been going on since I am the one that has control of my weight here also and I can say screw it also now also with other things.