Thinking again

Well since some things have happened for a reason here it will work out and now some will understand in what I was doing yesterday morning.  I guess that I am always suppose to feel good nomatter what is going on along with not sleeping at all while I am at it all.  I also fell asleep yesterday morning since the pain got to me along with getting down also with the pain.  With that being said here I missed several calls for the morning and still got blamed for it all after being said and done here along with that my Husband was walking home also on top of it.  Now I am sure that he noticed alot more than what he does other wise and that is a good thing also at this time.  But then again I am the one that gets ignored along with being told to shut the hell up most of the time with him anyway.  So now at this time there is alot going on that I have not said at all and since my Husband knocks me down along with some of his friends here over it that is how it ends up of course.  The frustration has already set in of course for today and it does not matter on my part since I already know what will be said about it if I voice it for the day.  On Thursday I got told to talk and said no you will not let me normally here so why bother now for anything.  This is what made me even more mad and went from there also.  Another thing is that I pretty much know in what all was said to the person who barrowed money off of me here and I can not prove a thing since I was not there.  This is why I just do not like to fallow my gut feelings at all since I get screamed at also here when I say no on alot of things untill some get his way.  Maybe the foot should come down hard here with things that need to be done here in the household and I will end up paying for it nomatter what again of course.  But then again here since I have been told afew things already and maybe I should just do it all myself from now on.