Ok I have started on my rampage again

I am both cheap and very blunt about things and thank the woman who raised me right on both things. I have got blamed, mulled, and tacked to the wall in the past couple of weeks here for reaching out my hand in good faith. I have steped up to the plate for the past 16 years becuase that is all I know how to do in what I have been delt with. Since my step daughter has no Balls and no spine to work with I do not feel sorry for her at all for not stepping up to the plate after all thies years and I did waht she asked of me to do. I got blamed for breaking into her E-mail account which I expected and blamed for what she had said to begin with. Well working in Computers as long as I have it is not hard to break in and steal pass words and screen names at all any more. Pluss the Little Girl broke her Father my Husband to HELL. I told him she ain't worth it anymore without the balls and he turned his rage on me. So a screaming match broke out and I still won since I went totally silent on my Husband and the voice of reason. What some do not know is that they will never know my children from my husband and never will. SInce I got totally blasted and it is one of the regreats that I have always had in my life of not knowing my Baby Brothers at all. I am seeing this all over again. My door has been always open untill about 2 weeks ago when I got told to Fuck off and die in so many words by a girl that I have loved and had faith on to do the right thing in life. In the past 4 years I have crawled into the bottle and back out dealing with what I have delt with. And I will admit that 12 deaths in one year is alittle much on anyone. I haven't even told some that thier Auntie has passed on becuase she ain't worth the time nor trouble on it. I have been known as the liar for over 33 years of my life and have told the God's honest truth on everything. Pluss I was always scared that I would be 6 foot under if I did lie about something growing up. Some folks know I will not lie to save my own toush anyway. Still in all I went against my better judgement and got blamed still for what I had no part in except reaching out to someone. Pluss I know some things that have went on that some do not know about. Like family fueds that have been going on for 150 years by accident and an adoption. Pluss a few other things that my husbands ex accussed him of of what he diden't do to someone.