Shaking my head

Well at this point in time here I can say that alot of the things that have went on in the past 6 years here I have made it all work.  I started really going that much cheaper around the trailer at the time since I figured that my Husband and myself were going to get one of our Nieces at the time.  So I had started cutting back alot more to make the budget work at the time and went from there totally.  I had asked my Husband then and there if I could get at least 4 drying racks for to have the extra space to dry laundry instead of using the dryer at the time and he asked me to hold off on it also at the time.  Pluss at the time that is when I started cutting back on the rest of the things like dish soap, and the one cleaners that I used for the counter tops at the time also.  That was the point in time to where I did not have to buy any shampoo, conditioner, and bar soap also after we got everything up from PA.  I had also started getting the meats for the trailer that were on sale right then while I was at it at the time since we had the big freezer going in the trailer.  I had started cooking that much cheaper in the trailer also to see if it would work for the most part since we would have another mouth to feed and clean after.  It did not help in knowing what my sister in law did to the child at the time also and the chore list would have been battled out every time that something was not done for the week with the girl since my sister in law did not make the girl do anything around her house at all at that time.  So after all said and done Child and Youth Services told myself and my Husband 6 years ago that the girl had concerns about moving in with us at the time and that I supposedly still hated the girl totally when I did not and that conversation that I had with the girl and told the one worker that it was on the girl since she told me that it was her who hated me and the child should make up her mind on some things.  Also at the time the girl wanted to move in with someone up here that she could not since the guys wife is a convicted child molester and the court put a stop to that part since the judge got handed the record while we were in the court room that day.  So as things ran along at the time with the girl I ended up getting that much cheaper at the trailer and got my KitchenAid stand mixer since I figured that we would never get the girl anyway and the girl moved in with her supposed half sister also at the time.  Well knowing what was going down after that and I had no part in abusing the girl either way like the person she moved in with and was aloud to drop out of school also then got left having to pay her sister about 800 dollars out of her pay checks to make up for what she got in the survivors benefits that were dropped since she was not in school anymore at the time.  Some tried to blame me for it of course and it did not work at all and still will not work to this day.  So I called someone yesterday around here to see how the person was doing and the person said that the girl was kicking herself now for not moving in with myself and my Husband when she had the chance to do so.  Also the girl is set on meeting her real mother still and I told the person straight out that the woman did not want anything to do with the girl at all and that I got it straight out of the bio mom totally.  Pluss it does help when some of us could work at the time when I was told by the bio mom and gave her a lift to where she wanted to go at the time also 5 years ago.  I let the gal know at the time in what I knew and gave her a somewhat heads up and that is when I was told.  So after all said and done here for the past 6 years here I have been rubbing all the change togeather and getting that much cheaper so I could move out of the trailer and did so almost 15 months ago now.  With that being said around here totally and some folks knew in what I was doing also when I started cutting that much more and now I am still cutting around the house here while I am at it.  When I sit here and think of all of what happened with the one Niece totally and did not want her anywhere near me at the time and alot of it was knowing that she did not care at all about what was suppose to go on at the time and she pushed me away about 7 years ago anyway and my sister in law knew about it also at the time even though she was not able to take care of herself nor the girl and I was there doing alot of things before I got pushed out.  So I chucked it up and said never again on helping out and did not go back at all at the time.