Here I thought it was me

Well I have been up and down in my moods as of late around here.  Here I thought it was just me and did not say much about it at all since the accident and everything.  Comes to find out it was not me at all and the stress.  I realized that today around the doctors office that it was not me at all.  Now normally I wait either way at the doctors office and do not mind one bit of the wait since that is about the only time I sit down to read.  Most of the office at the doctors know that I do not mind the wait and keep busy with a book.  There are other things that I do also while I am waiting so it keeps my mind active to say the least.  Some have not seen me sit down with a notebook and start writing things down that I want to get done for the day or week here at the house also.  Maybe I should start doing that while I am there also so I can freak out some folks that work there.  I do not ask for pity neither from some folks at all and told the one girl I would see what I could do for a payment also since it was the end/beginning of the month and the house payment is do on the first of the month.  She understood that part and told me either the 20 dollar payment or else.  I looked at her I will make phone calls then and explain it of why I could not go and she would hear about it.  So at this point in time I will do what I have to do to keep things going around here totally and try to do everything on the cheap side of life.  With the books it is a cheap form of entertainment for myself.  Also I can pick up books fairly cheap without hurting the axel on the truck also trying to get to the library.  With alot of things yes I will go the cheaper way of doing and it works out for the most part.  At this point I have no choice with some things for the household at all in how I get things done or what I do sometimes.  So now I will be cooking cheaper than ever for the household and see how it goes for awhile here.  I have no other choice in the matter since it seems the bills keep piling up on me for the place.   It maybe for the best if I do not get to the store for acouple of months to see how that part goes around here.  Also I got to thinking about alot of things for the place and it is not looking to good at this point.  Now I remember of why I said no to my Niece and her boyfriend acouple of months ago around here for moving in with me.  I do not miss the high bills at all and do not even miss the high grocery bill also for the household.  Ok so it takes me longer to get to all of the housework and to do the shopping for the place at this point in time without help around here like my Niece could lift a finger either way without being asked to do something then begged on top of it all.  Then I still had to go behind her to mop up the disaster she left behind when she supposedly cleaned at the trailer.  I will not put up with that at all anymore.  I finally got to the point when my Niece was with me at the time of why bother to ask when it was just easier to do it myself for the household.  I got tired of asking, begging, and pleading for the things to get done so I just did weather I was in pain or not.  I guess that is why I am having a hard time healing now is that I have to do or get screamed at and I know what I have to do to keep the household running.  I am also guessing the someone had it right if I do not get up and do then I may as well be dead around here.  Since I have nobody that I can depend on to help me out at all for now.  So I will keep doing at my own pace here in the household and go from there from now on and I will continue to try to be as cheap as I can thru it all here.