Sitting here thinking

Well I got to thinking this morning for the place.  Now in what was said to me last night I know I have had a rough road and will continue the up hill battle until I get things where I want them for the household.  Even a friend told me I am doing ok without any help at all for the place.  So now some know in how cheap that I have became and will continue to do so for the household at this time and when I think I am finished with it all, and it may stick with me no matter what goes on.  I do not bring in, in what some folks do at all and I am very comfortable in what I do by going cheaper around the household here.  I know that there will be home cooked meals on the cheap here and alot of other things that I can get done for the place then make it without going bust around here also.  Maybe that is what some have wanted me to do over the years and I kept fighting back the stupidness and other things that would cause myself and my Husband to fail in this life totally now.  With that being said I was surprised to get a phone call asking in how the household was doing and the complainers did not even ask for money yesterday at all nor smokes.  I also did some things that I needed to and for some folks they are out of luck on alot of things that they ask for since they can not get their heads out of places at all at this point in time.  There are alot of changes that will take place here in the household and alot of folks will not like in what I am about ready to do.  I have came to the point of it does not matter in what others do again and I can only do in what feels right for my household at this time.  With alot of things at this point I know what will work and have doubts in some other things here for the household totally.  Normally I get out in the mornings around here to get my walks in and I pick up the nickles along the way.  As was said to me last night the person did not blame me and asked if I thought about something else to get tested for.  And that was after I said I felt guilty for not holding my end of the bargin on alot of things that I wanted and knew that I had to do.  The guy felt the same way as I did for the household (both of us are Italian) and someone else made a comment on he did not think I was doing all of what I could also.  The man forgot about the accident all togeather with me.