Wierd day

Well I will be trying to get more done around here and finding a job if I can around here also.  Or go looking for nickles more either way here.  There is just alot on my mind here and I am trying to get it all straight yet again for the outside part.  I still have alot of questions and I am getting answers along the way also while I am at it around here.  So now to just get things done and back into the habbit once again for the household and be done with it all.  Maybe that is really what I need for the place is to get back into a rutine once again for the place.  I am still streaching things out for here and will continue to do so.  I am sure that some folks do not come over at all nor call me also becuase I have been stressed out around here for the most part.  I have realized that it was not me altogeather at all and I was holding back my tounge at both places on what needed to be said.  I am still holding back for the most part and figure I will leave that part alone for the most part with what was said last month to me also here at the house.  I am also that I have not had a phone call as of yet to lend out money to the people that just do not want to be here at all.  So I know that my answer will be no when they ask me about that and to barrow smokes off of me.  I am happy that in the past 6 months around the trailer and the house here I have made the right choices here by saying no more often and throwing out others.  What some have not understood about me is that when I am stressed out like I have been around here and to try and add more stress that is not needed on me for the time I tend to put my foot down harder than ever with what was said to me.  So now I can say that maybe that is why some have said that I have been pretty nasty apparently is that I have not been letting some barrow off of me at all and the household in the past 3 months or so.  I am wandering in what some think of when they figure that they can barrow money off of me and not pay me back what so ever in over a year.  Here I am wandering and it has been on my mind around here in the past month.  Also yesterday I felt totally useless around the household for the day.  Maybe this is part of why I have been feeling like this as of late since I thought I was doing the right thing for some people and got blasted out of the water about it.